this one is going to be personal but, that's why i am here - right? i didn't know it was going to be this tough...not being a mom or loving our baby so much i can't even explain...but figuring out who i am now that all of this change has occurred in our lives. before we had channing, i was a multi-tasker and juggled a million things at once. i was pretty confident in who i was as a person and a professional. i had a style that was my own and certain priorities that i valued. well, it seems that has all changed. somehow, i make it to the end of the day and realize the house is a complete mess, i didn't get to that pile of laundry, there isn't anything appealing to eat in the fridge and i don't have anything planned to make for dinner. let alone put on my makeup, do my hair or get in a workout. what the heck? i am truly out of balance. the person i was before isn't gone completely but has most certainly changed in a very big way. the question now is - who is this new person i am faced with in the mirror? i am struggling because i just don't know. those previous priorities have fallen by the wayside and the clothes hanging in my closet just don't seem like mine anymore. (although, i do feel lucky that they all finally fit !)
i can't be the only woman who has struggled with these changes...surely many new moms feel this way. the challenge, now, is to figure out where to go from here. i suppose the first answer is to be patient and kind to myself...and to realize that i am probably not alone...and try taking it one step at a time.
so, i will do my best to remember what i just said and just try my best. in the meantime, i can look in on our sleepy little bird and realize i must be doing some things right and that i have so very much to be thankful for each day.