i had a run in, with an acquaintance, whom i used to be on a charity board with, the other day and our conversation has really had me thinking. as soon as i said hi she said “wow, i haven’t seen you in awhile. you haven’t been involved in ANYTHING.” to which i replied, “well i did have a baby and am really focusing my attentions on her”. her response was something like, well it’s been over a year now hasn’t it? like there was some kind of time limit to how long i was allowed to want to spend time with my daughter instead of doing other things. (and obviously, i have reached my limit now that we had passed a year!) it’s true, i used to be on quite a few different committees and i spent a lot of time putting together events and helping to raise money and do lots of creative things over and above for my job. and i really enjoyed doing it and love working hard for a good cause. however, that was before i had the bird. once i had her, i just didn’t want to do it anymore. not that i won’t do it again at some point but, i just felt that my time was most important right now to be spent with my baby. i guess i expected other moms to understand that. but, comments like what i had during this run in made me stop to think - is it that odd that i want to take a break from working overtime at my job, or other projects, or being part of more committees than i ever actually wanted to be? it isn’t that i don’t want to work hard at my job but, right now my priority is spending as much time with channing as i possibly can. because, i can’t get this time back and there will always be a committee waiting for me when i am ready to join back in (if i decide to anyway!)
i want nothing more right now than to enjoy every moment i have with my family and that means not taking on any additional projects unless i truly want to. not because i feel like i “should” or because people expect me to.
that being said, today was beautiful out and the bird was excited to get outside and try out her new walking shoes. so, we spent the afternoon enjoying the sunshine, exploring sticks and rocks and watching the dog chase after her ball. and i do not regret it or feel guilty about it in the least!